I’m an Australian father who survived a decade-long abusive relationship. For years, I minimised what was happening — enduring verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, and coercive control — because I thought that’s just what relationships sometimes look like. I told myself to try harder, keep the peace, stay for the kids. But slowly, quietly, I was being dismantled.

The turning point came when the abuse escalated into something devastating: I was falsely accused of the worst possible crime. It was a calculated act of destruction — not just an attack on my character, but on my role as a father and human being. I was terrified. I reached out for help — and found almost nothing.

Many services didn’t respond. Some dismissed me. Others weren’t equipped to support men at all. I found fragments of advice — scattered across forums, legal websites, and women-focused DV support services. But there was no path. No voice saying, “You are not alone. And what’s happening to you matters.”

Then came the Family Court process.

Like many male survivors, I was forced to prove my right to be a parent - even when asking for 50/50 custody - while walking on eggshells through a system not designed for men in my position. I encountered systemic bias — subtle in tone, devastating in impact.

The Family Report process, in particular, nearly broke me. The report I received felt deeply biased — dismissive of the abuse I had experienced, and lacking critical context, including documented child protection concerns. It felt as though being male meant my experience was viewed through suspicion, not compassion.

I realised that the legal system, while designed to protect families, can also replicate harm — especially when it fails to recognise male victims.

I was already in therapy, but after this process, I needed to start with an additional therapist — with someone else who understood the damage these systems can cause. Not just to recover from the relationship, but to heal from the silence, suspicion, and disbelief I’d faced in the Family Court process along the way.

But despite all this, I was one of the lucky ones.

I found the right lawyer — someone who truly understood what it meant to represent a male victim of family violence.

I found the right therapists — people who recognised the patterns I’d lived through and who helped me rebuild my sense of self.

Together, they helped me find a way out. And eventually, I found myself again.

That’s why I created Stand Again. This isn’t just a website. It’s a blueprint. It’s the guide I wish I had.

Why This Site Exists

• Because men deserve more than silence.
• Because family violence can happen to anyone — including fathers, professionals, kind men, and those who stayed too long trying to protect their kids.
• Because the systems designed to help don’t always see us.
• Because there are things I learned — painfully, slowly — that I wish someone had told me earlier.

Stand Again Exists For Men Who:

• Are being manipulated, belittled, or controlled — and aren’t sure if it “counts” as abuse
• Are trying to protect their children while being gaslit, sidelined, or falsely accused
• Have already left and are now dealing with alienation, broken trust, or a biased system
• Need practical tools to survive court, co-parenting, and the long emotional fallout
• Want to heal — but also feel angry, exhausted, or unsure where to begin

Why the Name?

Because you can Stand Again. Even after being silenced, twisted, or dismissed — you can stand again.

Not by pretending it didn’t happen. Not by skipping the pain. But by doing the slow, steady work of rebuilding your life — with clarity, strength, and integrity.

Why I Remain Anonymous

Because my story is still unfolding. I have children to protect — from retaliation, confusion, and further harm. The systems we move through don’t always handle male disclosures with care. And because right now, my voice is more useful in service than in spotlight.

Stand Again isn’t therapy. It isn’t a legal service. 

It’s a blueprint — built from my lived experience, backed by research, and created for one purpose:

To help you make sense of what happened, survive the systems, and reclaim your future.

You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re not alone.

And no matter how many times you are knocked down - You can stand again.