Stage 3: Recover
You’ve survived the relationship. You’ve made it through the worst of the separation. Now comes the harder work — recovery.
Stage 3: Recover is about reclaiming who you are beneath the trauma, shame, confusion, and survival mode. It’s the quiet, confronting stage of healing: not just processing what happened (the impacts), but understanding why it hit so hard, what made you vulnerable (our triggers), and how to make sure it never happens again.
This is where you begin to heal the emotional injuries that kept you stuck — the people-pleasing, the fear of abandonment, the compulsive over-explaining, or the way you froze under scrutiny. It’s also where you begin to gently lay down the survival tools that once protected you — silence, shutdown, over-functioning — but now keep you from fully living. It's about creating safety in your own nervous system, in your parenting, and in your inner world.
This isn’t about performance. This is about repair.
“Healing happens when you’re triggered and you’re able to move through the pain, the pattern, the story and walk your way to a different ending.”
– Vienna Pharaon
Recovery Tools - Overview
Healing from abuse takes time — and the right kind of support.
It’s about gently rewiring your system. That means exploring your triggers, reclaiming the strengths that were once used against you, and tending to the wounds that left you vulnerable. The work isn’t just emotional — it’s neurological. Abuse leaves a mark on your mind, your body, and your nervous system. And all of it needs care.
Healing the Mind and Body
Understand what’s happening inside you, and begin to settle it.
- Therapy for men: finding the right fit and knowing what to expect
- Trauma reactions: why your responses weren’t crazy — they were survival
- Grief: letting go of the relationship, the dream, and the version of you that tolerated it
- Releasing the abuse story: making space for who you are without it
Repairing What Made You Vulnerable
Heal the core wounds they used to get in — and stop the cycle from repeating.
- Why you were easy to manipulate: early wounds and unmet needs
- Shame, guilt, and unworthiness: how they hook you, and how to dissolve them
- Emotional Ownership Framework: used to explore authentic or manipulated feelings
- Healing abandonment and invisibility: becoming visible to yourself
- Ending the pattern: spotting red flags in you, not just them
Showing Up For Your Kids
Parent, function, and live without collapsing or overcompensating.
- Self-care for fathers: sleep, nutrition, boundaries, and rest
- Being present with your kids: co-regulation over perfection
- Fatherhood while healing: parenting without abandoning yourself
Disclaimer ┃Terms of Use ┃Privacy Policy
© Copyright. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer: This website offers peer-informed education and resources. It is not a substitute for legal or clinical advice. If you are in danger or experiencing a crisis, please seek immediate professional help.
We need your consent to load the translations
We use a third-party service to translate the website content that may collect data about your activity. Please review the details in the privacy policy and accept the service to view the translations.