This checklist is here to help you plan your exit safely, clearly, and with as much control as possible. Not everything will apply to your situation — take what’s useful, adapt what you need, and move at your own pace.

Phase 1: Prepare Yourself & Build the Plan

• ☐ Build your trusted circle
  Identify 2–4 people who are reliable, safe, and discreet. Let them know you’re planning to leave and may need help — storing things, housing, or emotional support.
• ☐ Open your own bank account
  Choose a bank your partner doesn’t use. Some banks offer DV-sensitive processes with flexible ID requirements. Don’t log in on shared devices.
• ☐ Slowly build a cash reserve
  Withdraw small amounts over time. Hide it in multiple safe places (books, coat pockets, toiletry bags) or ask a support person to store it.
• ☐ Set up a secure email and phone plan
  Create a new email address not linked to your devices. Consider buying a pre-paid phone (paid in cash), and keep it hidden — powered off until needed.
• ☐ Review your digital safety
  • Change passwords on personal accounts
  • Turn off location sharing (including photo metadata and app permissions)
  • Use incognito/private mode for searches
  • Clear browser history or use public/library computers if needed
• ☐ Secure key documents and essentials
  Store originals or copies (digitally and physically) of:
  • IDs (yours and your kids’)
  • Medicare cards, prescriptions
  • Financial statements
  • Court/parenting documents
  • Keys, cash, phone, charger
  • School/medical information
• ☐ Consider a safety deposit box or safe hiding place
  Use it to store cash, spare keys, medications, devices, passwords, and essentials. Keep it out of the home if possible.
• ☐ Log incidents quietly
  Keep a written or digital log of abuse. Use our [Incident Log Template] for consistency. Save screenshots, threatening texts, voicemails. Use Dropbox/Google Drive with a private account.
• ☐ Prepare notes to institutions
  Draft short messages for your child’s school, GP, therapist, or daycare — so you’re not scrambling post-exit. See our [Notes to Institutions Templates].
• ☐ Talk to your GP (if safe)
  Request a 10-day “cushion” of medications. Ask for printouts of your medical history. Inform them discreetly that you’re preparing to leave.

Phase 2: Enact and Navigate the Exit

• ☐ Choose the safest exit moment
  Plan around your partner’s routine. Exit when they are away, calm, or distracted. Have someone on standby if needed.
• ☐ Pack your bag quietly
  Use our [What to Pack] list. Include essentials for yourself and your children. Store with a trusted friend or in your car if safe.
• ☐ Communicate your exit clearly (if necessary)
  Use a brief, firm message. Don’t explain or argue. You do not owe them closure or permission.
• ☐ Check for vehicle trackers
  Ask a mechanic to sweep your car for GPS trackers. If one is found, don’t remove it until you leave — but learn how to disable it.
• ☐ Inform Police (if applicable)
  After you’re out, report your exit and provide your ex’s name, car description, and any known threats. This helps with safety and future protection orders.

Phase 3: Stabilise Post-Separation

• ☐ Formalise finances and access
  Work with a lawyer or DV support organisation to regain access to joint funds or transfer money safely.
• ☐ Establish formal parenting agreements
  Avoid vague or informal deals. Use our [Parenting Agreement Template] to protect time, access, and legal rights.
• ☐ Switch to co-parenting tools
  Use an app like AppClose to keep messages timestamped and professional. Avoid verbal communication.
• ☐ Maintain boundaries with ex
  Use BIFF responses (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm). Don’t JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain). Keep it child-focused.
• ☐ Prioritise your kids’ emotional stability
  Keep routines consistent. Use safe, age-appropriate language. You don’t need to explain everything — just that they’re safe, and you’re still there.
• ☐ Secure devices and information
  Disable tracking on your old phone. Backup and remove data. Keep a password and app list stored securely for reinstalling later.